Lh - Hope the storm didn't cause any damage (other than your connection)!

I'm glad you aren't going to try to set him up to lie about seeing OW #1 when he was out of town. I'm sure it just wouldn't feel right when you looked back on it. On the other hand, you've waited long enough for him to reveal it himself. It's more than legitimate for you to ask if he had any contact with her...or just tell him you already know he did (by way of TM, at least) and you can ask why he didn't let you know.

He did tell me about the TM, but I think they saw each other too. But a set-up is the wrong way to go - I have to accept that there are some things I may never know.

Throw the ball back in his court by asking when he’s going to commit to those? Etc., etc.

You're right - this is the way to go on this! "I've done XYZ, what are you going to do and when are you planning on doing it?"

Wish me luck! It may happen tonight!