We've discussed the reasons for my affair, but he's really only heard bits and pieces of it. He thinks I've blamed him for my A. When I spoke with SH, we discussed the appropriate way to discuss my A with him, and I've followed his advice to the letter. I wanted to be sure that my H didn't think I was blaming him for my choices. But he thinks that anyway - he basically only heard that my needs weren't met and didn't really listen to anything before or after that.