I handed over all my passwords right after DDay ... he chooses not to check up, but I know that he can if he wants. Which I think helps hold me accountable to always put my marriage first.

He finally handed over one of the passwords ... and is being better about being more upfront.

NEW QUESTION:
How do you let go of things that your spouse did to hurt you? We both cheated. We both messed things up. We both hurt one another. I fessed up as soon as I was found out and immediately turned my life around. He just admitted to his affair - 5 months later! And I would hardly call what he gave an apology! He did things to deliberately hurt me, and his apologies have been weak at best. I wake up some mornings wanting to just go back to sleep so I don't have to deal with the fact that I don't think my H loves me. I know he used to, and sometimes I think he still does. But most of the time I truly think he only stays married to me b/c of DD. I'm sick of being bitter about things that happened months ago! But I don't know how to let go! I've talked about it in IC, MC, and prayed about it. I just can't let some things go! I don't think I'm any better than him, or vice versa - so its not that I'm holding onto it to be one-up. And I don't want to feel this way, so I'm not holding on to not forgive. And I do want to be married to him, so I'm not holding on to get out. I just can't stop ... any suggestions??? (Please be gentle with me - I'm fragile! So calm suggestions will work best, no 2x4s please!)