You sound like my husband. I think it is normal. You have different libidos. You both need to understand each other's needs and compromise. From the woman's point of view, being constantly asked for sex when I don't feel like it is stressful. I don't like having to keep telling my husband no, and when he is frustrated with the lack of sex, he can be mean about it, or say that I don't love him as much as he loves me. So now I get some anxiety whenever sex is brought up, which is making it worse.

My husband feels like I don't love him as much as he loves me because I don't want sex as much as him. This is not true. I just don't have as high of a libido. There are other ways to express love besides sex. I would suspect that your wife does love you as much as you love her, she just doesn't need sex as much as you.

You should both fill out the emotional needs questionaire. That would illuminate to her how important sex is to you, and you can learn what her highest needs are and make sure you are meeting them. She will be more inclined to sex if all her needs are being met.

BTW, this is still a problem for us. I don't think you can really change a person's libido so I think expecting her to meet yours or you to meet hers is the answer.


Married since 6/14/05