What's appropriate babble response when she accuses me of hurting the boys by using them as a pawn or drawing them in?

You don't have to defend yourself. You are not the one in the wrong here. It is her affairs that are harmful to those boys and they have a right to know why their family is being torn apart. Tell her "no, ADULTERY hurts the boys."

Speaking of children's view of adultery. I never knew adultery was wrong growing up because my father was a serial cheater and my mother was SILENT. I was taught that adultery was perfectly acceptable.

I watched Bridges of Madison County and thought it was a beautiful, romantic movie. My brother left his wife and autistic son for a 21 year old ho and his wife had a nervous breakdown. When deciding which woman he should choose, my father said "son you have to do what makes you happy."

So, I don't believe kids know it is wrong unless you tell them. If no one tells them it is wrong, they think they must be wrong, that it is really ok.

I think SILENCE is just as bad as teaching them to be immoral.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101