previously titled: "Was great guy, want to be again, She lost faith, where to go from here?"

I am the Husband that did not want to ever be like my father. I seemed like the ONE during courtship, and thought that I was the ONE. 6 years of disrespect through neglect and now Wife is done. She sees that I was never going to stop looking at porn behind her back, and I could never own up to why. She sees that I am sexist and degrading from the beginning of marriage, which she was pregnant.

Seems like I loved her, up until I got her to put on ring, then I saw her as a "mommy", and then all the stereotypes that I denied ever believing, I started to play out. Did not understand self, and disrespected wife, many lies. Otherwise, show lots of Love.

Now she is done, sees nothing in me to believe in. She is at the point where she does not care if I work out my head, she does not want to fix this, because I was not the ONE that she thought I was...

I am only owning up, and trying to change now that I do not have the "upper hand" that I thought I had. Please, is there enough reason for her to want me to stay?

She sees that I am a great father, and I have shown her compassion, but not in the sexual department or honesty. I have had no sexual relationship, in her eyes, if I was lying and looking at porn behind back. Now I realize that I have been acting out sexist views that I never wanted to be. I have been more like my Father then I ever realized! Man, I am changing, but she sees nothing to look back on in the marriage, and courtship was too long ago. Where to start regaining trust? Trying so much, and seeing counselor. This site helps, but she has lost faith in MAN-kind! I was just another wolf in Sheep's clothing, but I didn't seem to know what I was... I didn't know I was capable of this!!!! I want to not be that wolf, but I have been.?????????????????



Engaged-1 yr.
Married-6 yrs.
Kids-4 and 6
W-3 yrs older
Young couple headed for 30.