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I read someone the other day say that stopping the affair and never doing it again was not enough? What is the BS entitled to?


As far as I'm concerned it's not about ENTITLEMENT; it's about love and compassion. You will never understand the blow to the psyche that you have dealt, not to mention the physical and emotional turmoil that the BS is subjected to when they learn of the A AND fight for their M. Just accept that you have a lot of work to do, and set about doing it. That means absolutely and unequivocably NO MORE LIES. None. Even if you feel some engrained conflict avoidance, knee jerk, fight or flight reaction, fight against it. Being honest is not nearly as difficult as lying.

And, as for Froz, and her reaction, none of it is OVERREACTING. If she came at you with a pair of scissors, I'd have to say, even then, she's not overreacting. She's experiencing the pain that you dealt her over and over again everytime she CATCHES you in a lie. If you can't face that, then it may be best to let her go, and help her as best you can to be financially safe and sound. She's not entitled to it, but loving someone else in not about entitlement, IMO.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009