I think you are way off base. My best friends never filled the love bank of a loved one....and while I DO think an opposite sex friend of a WS is a likely target for an affair...I think having an affair with the best friend of the BS is a horrible and vile act that is partially intended to hurt the BS. I do agree that she didn't wake up one day and decide this...that it DID build up over time...which makes it premeditated and even more cruel. It is easy to see the damage that can be done in this type of situation. Would you use the same rational if she screwed his brother or father??? Same thing IMHO.

I'm just telling you how its described in HNHN and how I can see it as bein possible. I also don't think that necessarily makes it premeditated. I won't argue with you about the cruelty, though. Have you read HNHN? If not, what I'm saying may or may not be coming through to you in the way I intend.