Hold, in my opinion, it seems that Mrs. Hold is very reluctant to take charge of her own life... she seems to be very passive and let events overtake her.

For example, she wants you to cherish her as you used to, but she is unwilling to do anything to make you want to do so. I'm sure her weight has been bothering her, but she has thus far been unwilling to curb her eating habits and engage in any regular exercise to do anything about it. That's why this is such a big step for her, and I hope, too, that she is successful in this arena, because that success would motivate her to make changes in other areas of her life... it has the potential to both motivate her and to give her some confidence in her own ability to do anything.

If indeed she does succeed at this, I think it will have a beneficial effect on your marriage... but first things first, eh? Support her in this effort, here and now, let everything else sort itself out in due time, and you'll see what happens. That seems to me to be the approach you're taking, and I think it's the wise approach to this.

Anyway, good for her, and regardless of everything else between the two of you, I think you're right to be proud of her. smile

Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!