Originally Posted by holdingontoit
I am not doing these things for her. I am doing them for myself. To be the person I wish to be. Not for her reaction.

I think it's good that you are doing these things for yourself, to be the person you wish to be. And not doing them to try to get something from her in return. That is a step in the right direction for you.

However, nothing says you cannot enjoy the fact that she notices and appreciates what you're doing. In a way, it is like she is noticing and appreciating you being you... Perhaps she is starting to see the you that you are trying to become.

Does that make any sense?

Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!