Hold,

I wonder if you might be over-analytical about the compliments. Instead of predicting/anticipating/assigning motives to every compliment, why not experiment and take them at face value with no expectation of further reward. A compliment does not always lead to sex. You might practice returning a compliment. What would happen if you took the day-to-day stuff on a lighter note? This precludes relinquishing control over the finances.

On a slightly different note, I sometimes think my marriage ended because the XW reached some kind of resentment threshold. She once told me she had typed them up to give to her quack-of-an-IC and that they numbered in the hundreds and spanned all 25-years of our relationship. How would one overcome that? I view the formation of a resentment as an initial communication failure. You fail to tell someone how you feel when it occurs and instead bank-up your anger for later when it's impossible from an irrational standpoint to communicate them satisfactorily. You give up you power to her by harboring your resentments. Resentments are like you taking poison in an effort to kill the other person. I don't understand building resentments, I'm simply not the kind of person who does so. I don't deny their existence because I know that my experience will differ from others. You will need to get beyond the resentments to work on you. I'm thinking you need to sit around a campfire at night in a loincloth with other similarly clothed men banging on drums and screaming into the night to purge your pain. You pain goes back to your childhood and has been with you all of your life. It's time to start unloading.

With that being said, it had better be a roaring bonfire this time of year! Try to have yourself a good weekend!

Dutch