Hey Hitch, thanks for stopping by. Hope your life is going well.

I am all in favor of Mrs. Hold losing weight. I have been as supportive as I know how to be. Mostly I like that it sets a good example for D12 (who lost 6 pounds over the past 4 months despite hitting puberty - so the hoped for resculpting of her body by hormones is occurring). Also, it is healthier for Mrs. Hold. Which I see as a good thing. After all, she is the mother of my children and I know they want her in their life as long as possible. Those are what I see as the "good" reasons I support her weight loss.

The "less good" reasons are that I expect to feel less embarrassed to be seen out with her if she loses significant amounts of weight. And if she loses significant amounts of weight then she is more likely to find someone else. Which I view as good for both of us. Which, given how much I have read here over the years about the pain of infidelity, shows you how much of a whack job I am.

You are correct that I used to view weight loss as something she could do to help improve our marriage. Now I am not looking to go through conflict to return to intimacy with her. When I am ready to differentiate I won't be changing in ways that bring us closer together. She may find me more desirable and try to chase me. But I will be running away.