LA,

Thank you for the poetic response! Reading your words brings tears to my eyes.

I trace my emotions back to as far as my mental conscious can reach. I never make it to a solid answer.

"If you don't believe Love is a choice you make...and keep making...acting from it...whether you feel it or not...then don't get married."

I had to read this sentence, three times and repeat it to myself with my eyes closed to truly understand the concept.

I am the type of person who doesn't invest time and money into something that doesn't provide a return...This I think is my primary character flaw. My fiancee knows this. I think I only feel loved and act upon the love when I feel the relationship is on even ground...But I've been told that in marriage, it is like BOTH sides have to give 90% (not 50%)...

--LA, i really think reading your words made me realize that loving Bethany is something I have to continuously choose to do...All time, no matter what. And even if I...cannot...I still must act on notions of love. Can you please provide feedback on this?

"She can't. And she wants to marry you anyway...even though she fears...she's in it with you"

I know...But I am the one who has created the doubt in her, It was like I wanted to do it...It has taken quite a bit of work to put it in there...While I didn't feel like i was putting it their in objective. I think it happened in result of me communicating, honestly, mine.

But, since I have already caused this pain...Echos of her words radiate though mine and it nearly destroys me to have put doubt of me in her mind.

It makes me feel like her, nor I, should have to be married to someone who has instilled (or has/had) doubts.

Is it possible to get past these silly...But strong (in me) things and fulfill each other's emotional needs?

One more thing to note...She is a rock; it almost makes me think she doesn't care...but I know she does. If i did not cause relationship problems, there would not be any (or a lot less).



"and the answer you're looking for...is being one."

what do you mean by 'being one'?