Originally Posted by Mulan
***Yes...remember, the WS ALWAYS had the option, ALL ALONG THE WAY, of coming to his/her BS and saying something like:

***"Look, we have some problems in our marriage that need to be addressed...I find myself developing attractive "feelings" toward (OP) and I don't want to GO THERE. We need to talk!"

***Most WSs don't bother to do this out of a sense of selfish and immoral self-entitlement.

I also think that many folks Really and Truly Believe that if your spouse ain't givin' you what you want, you have the right to look elsewhere for it.

That thought never entered my head. I never had a sense of entitlement. Never, not once.

Originally Posted by Mulan
It's kind of an unwritten rule that many folks do subscribe to. Of course it's dead wrong, but you will find many who honestly do believe that and it's usually due to the way they were brought up (very poorly).

Nope. I was brought up to have integrity, stand up for what's right, weather the storms, marry for "better or worse".

Originally Posted by Mulan
And for some, who have grown up believing in this unspoken rule that "every knows about", they may well sabotage things so that their spouse will react with anger / grief / despair. Then, of course, said spouse is REALLY no longer giving them what they want, so they're even more entitled to look elsewhere.

Works really, really well. Anyone seen this?

Not me. That wasn't even on my radar. But I have seen this IRL. The fact that your H (xH?) thought that stealing money was ok tells me that he is a jerk and probably always has been.