A few things.

First, he doesn't have the background in stability you do. You will need to show him what a stable life is like. As you do, though, you also need to explain how that is all based on respect. In a 'happy' life, a man respects his wife and wants to please her above himself. A woman respects her husband and provides a great homelife for him. They talk about everything - no assumptions, no one person making the decisions without including the other. Talk about everything! Never stop.

Second, living with you is going to seem boring to a man who is used to instant gratification. You need to talk (again!) about choosing to marry means putting your old ways behind you and moving on to a family. I don't think your H gets this yet. And he doesn't have the background as an example. Talk about it.

Third, for a good marriage, you will both need to learn about each other better. A good way to do that is to print out the Love Buster questionnaires here, and both of you fill them out. They will help you learn about each other - what you do that bothers him, what he does that bothers you. Once you know that stuff, it is both your responsibilities to make sure you respect your partner enough to never do those things to each other. That's how resentment grows and marriages end. Stop doing them! It's a good idea to return to this LBQ once a year, to see how things are going.

Once you have that down, fill out the Emotional Needs questionnaire, so you both know what you should do to make the other happy. Remember, though, if you haven't eliminated the LBs, it doesn't matter how many ENs you meet - they will still be resentful and reject you meeting their ENs. He needs to understand this.

Fourth, adding a child is a HUGE disruption to a marriage. If you don't handle it right, you will grow apart and probably divorce. Wisdom says that you have to take care of the marriage first, then the child. So NEVER tell him 'No, I don't want to watch a movie with you, I'd rather play with baby.' I mean, sure, you have to split your time, but never make him feel like now that the baby is here, husband takes second place. Texas A&M University just published a survey that says 9 out of 10 marriages become worse once kids are introduced. That's because the new parents quit trying to meet each other's needs - they focus on the kid, and the marriage suffers.

Finally, I have a GREAT website your husband may benefit from. It's called www.bettermen.org. Its premise is a man has to be a responsible husband and father, but he shouldn't ignore his own happiness or needs. But that there is a balance there. I highly recommend it, for both of you. They have a book called Hold On To Your N.U.T.S., that talks about making sure you're happy, but not to the detriment of your marriage and wife. Short book, easy read; I recommend it.

Oh, and if money is tight, have you looked into www.unitedway.org? It's not just for poor people. They have agencies there that can help with anything from finding a better job, help with education, getting better health care, raising kids...just everything. Please give it a try and see what they have available in your area.