1st, Bubbles, I don't think it's fair to Hold to belittle his wife so strongly. By that I mean that Hold allows this to happen and needs to take some control over what happens to him in his life. Not blame, but control. He is not damaged goods and still very capable of some amazing things.

Hold, from my experience, a woman will tell you that she doesn't want any physical attention from you, but still wants to know that you find her attractive. Maybe that sounds insensitive, don't know. I'd get the pills for you, because as you admitted, it bother's how you feel about yourself, which is extremely important. Get your T levels checked if that's what you needed.

Why are you trying to send Ms.Hold a message. If you want her to go get another guy, then tell her that. Be honest with her, be honest with yourself. I understand that you have a no hope for a happy marriage but what to keep the shell in tact. I still don't think that's a good reason to lie to yourself.