Hi Hold,

I read that the book NMMNG got your attention. It's an easy to read book, yet very hard to do the break free exercises.

I think this might sum up what the book tell you. Your marriage will change to how you lead it, or it's been dead and you moving on is over due.

As you say, whatever Mrs Hold accomplishes from this weight loss program, you're on your way to running away.

Even though you know you're miserable, you feel you aren't in the position to make that decision. You're not ready, or there's no perfect time to break off, and you fear the unknown outcomes.

Perhaps you're afraid to be alone. You don't want to gamble the outcome of the custodial arrangements of the kids. I understand those fears.

You want to do the changes, but for some reason, there isn't enough factor to push you in deciding. I wonder, how far Mrs Hold needs to push over your boundaries before you make a decision to end the M?

If she gets another man, would that be enough? I think she might believe that, so she probably won't do that, and still get away with pretty much anything at your cost.

-- Still JM --

Met `82, Steady May`86, Married Jul`95. D12, S9, D3. MB`ing since Apr`02 to fall back "in love."

05.20.06: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."