Well, NED, I'm glad you didn't delete your post b/c I never would have looked at it from that perspective if you hadn't commented.

I did not stay in my marriage (left for other reasons, not having to deal every day with the attractiveness issue for me is a huge side-benefit that makes me feel better when I get to feeling lonely).

His post also showed the difference between two women- the boy's real mom, who didn't want to work on things, and his step-mom, who worked on the marriage til attraction developed, but it also showed a guy who married not one but two women who weren't attracted to him.

I had postulated that if xH had made an effort to improve physically and take care of things that were important to me maybe I wouldn't get all lustful, but at least be more enjoyable. But so many sources told us there was no hope- you couldn't develop attraction, he didn't try, b/c he didn't want to waste his time (so he said).

This will probably sound dumb, but there are a lot of really nice guys out there. And a few are interested in me. It's just very, very, rare that I get "butterflies" for anyone... and I was feeling quite hopeless of ever re-marrying til I came across that post. I don't care about butterflies (you can't miss what you've never had) but I *do* enjoy male companionship, and would like to re-marry someday.

But who wants to marry someone not attracted to them in *that* way?

So I guess I read into the post differently than everyone else- I read into it, there's hope for me to develop attraction for someone and also hope that someone would overlook that fault in me.


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer