Well, NED, I'm glad you didn't delete your post b/c I never would have looked at it from that perspective if you hadn't commented.

I did not stay in my marriage (left for other reasons, not having to deal every day with the attractiveness issue for me is a huge side-benefit that makes me feel better when I get to feeling lonely).

His post also showed the difference between two women- the boy's real mom, who didn't want to work on things, and his step-mom, who worked on the marriage til attraction developed, but it also showed a guy who married not one but two women who weren't attracted to him.

I had postulated that if xH had made an effort to improve physically and take care of things that were important to me maybe I wouldn't get all lustful, but at least be more enjoyable. But so many sources told us there was no hope- you couldn't develop attraction, he didn't try, b/c he didn't want to waste his time (so he said).

This will probably sound dumb, but there are a lot of really nice guys out there. And a few are interested in me. It's just very, very, rare that I get "butterflies" for anyone... and I was feeling quite hopeless of ever re-marrying til I came across that post. I don't care about butterflies (you can't miss what you've never had) but I *do* enjoy male companionship, and would like to re-marry someday.

But who wants to marry someone not attracted to them in *that* way?

So I guess I read into the post differently than everyone else- I read into it, there's hope for me to develop attraction for someone and also hope that someone would overlook that fault in me.

:-)