We no longer argue over sex. No point. Spent 8 years arguing and produced no results other than to drive myself even more crazy. So I stopped fighting. And settled into seething resentment.

This is the dilemma and the corner I have painted myself into. I am not looking for sex. Yes, I am going to resent her for the lack of sex. But I am not going to ask for sex. Or negotiate for more sex.

I don't feel it is appropriate for me to ask her for sex. She is a rape victim. I am compounding her trauma by pressuring her for sex. She has to want it. For herself. She has to want to deal with the issues. Overcome her demons. Otherwise I am just as much of a jerk as the guys who raped her.

Yet how can I ask her to deal with her issued when I refuse to deal with mine? So we both just sit in our corners. Making no progress. Wondering why we are both so miserable. Well, I don't wonder. I know why I am miserable. What I don't know is what it will take for me to do something about it.