I wonder what would happen if Mrs. Hold came up to hold and said "I'm so sorry for having hurt you. I neglected you and made you feel like what you wanted wasn't important. I did not treat you well and I was wrong.

I want to make it up to you. If you can open your heart to me, I want us to be happy together--and that includes your dreams for a loving sexual relationship"

I think Hold might still feel nothing for a good long while, but if she followed it up (consistently and over time) to show him that she meant what she said, and she pursued him for enjoyable SF--as well as doing all the other nice things that are important to each of htem...

Then HOld would open back up to her again, and could be happy with her.

It would take her a lot more time and effort now than it would have, say, 8 years ago! But I think it's doable. Because Hold wants to be loved. He just has stopped letting himself feel that longing because it is more painful than being numb.