Last year S15 went to summer school in the mornings from 8 to noon. Then he hung out with his friends in the afternoon. Mrs. Hold does not see that as sufficiently enriching. I have no problem with that sort of schedule for the coming summer. S15 has complained his "college prep track" academic requirements are so extensive he cannot take many electives. If he took an English or history class over the summer, that would open up a couple of slots for him to take culinary arts (the HS has a full commercial kitchen as a classroom), auto shop, etc. during the school year.

Also, our town bought a bankrupt country club last fall to prevent it from falling into disrepair. They are offering town residents family pool and tennis memberships for $1400. If we got that, all 4 of us could use the facilities for the entire summer. Seems to me a much better deal (although much less exotic) than spending $5000 on 3 weeks for S15 and then having done nothing for D12 (or ME - yikes, did I just mention my needs should be considered too?).

Or maybe S15 has ideas of his own. Maybe he could get a job as a CIT or counsellor at a local day camp. It is not easy to sell "hold the hands of a bunch of 8 year olds" when your mother is offering "spend 3 weeks in NYC living in a college dorm".

I am not suggesting the kids sit home and stew in their juices all summer. But I am not enthusiastic about spending $5000 to cover only a portion of the summer for one child. Now the question is, what am I willing to do about my lack of enthusiasm. Wish me luck in the coming argument!

LA, it has been so long since Mrs. Hold felt delighted about anything involving me. I don't know how I would feel if she expressed delight. I used to like it. Now? I might only resent it. Hard to tell. I have given up even trying to prompt her delight. I don't believe I can accomplish that often enough to be worth the effort. Moreover, I would feel bad about prompting her delight if there were no reciprocation. I would not take delight in her delight. I would feel foolish.

I would like to be in a marriage where I did take delight in my wife's delight. I would like to be in a marriage where I was motivated to work toward prompting my wife's delight. I do not believe I will ever be in that kind of marriage with Mrs. Hold. The only question in my mind is whether I am capable of finding someone else who is interested in creating such a marriage with me. Which would rquire me to become a person worthy of such a marriage. I am not that person today. And I do not belive I will attempt to become such a person while I remain married to Mrs. Hold. As Soolee said, I get too much secondary benefit from punishing Mrs. Hold. That "benefit", albeit small and warped, is assured. I don't see myself choosing to pursue the much riskier path of attempting to achieve happiness.