I think what I'm learning here is that

1. Plan A can fail and one reason for this can be where the 'Temporary Angel' spouse continues operating from stuffed resentment. This makes the following advice I was given on my thread make even more sense- "do these things because you love him not because you hope to get xyz in return. If you do it purely for reciprocation then you are just being manipulative to get something you want and not acting out of love' (I've paraphrased this from memory)- thanks to the person who said this.

2. At some point (irrespective of whether there's been a plan A phase or not) Both partners have to make a sincere and honest effort with the MB program. Otherwise it doesn't work.

Anyway, hold as this is your thread I just have a couple more final comments for you.

A: Would you consider doing just one more Plan A stint to give it another try?

B: If no. Then I'll check in on your thread now and again - I've got some good tips on disengaging and mentally separating if that's the way you want to proceed.

Hold, I wish you all the very best - mainly I hope you get bored with "taking the poison" (LOL) and see the illogicality of it at some point. If not then - all I can say is ....all this self flagellation ...(jeesh) believe me...BTDT.....it's really a kind of dishonorable way of avoiding personal growth by saying "see look how I recognize my faults look how hard I beat myself up. I don't buy it Hold. Not one bit. It's a kind of a way of doing nothing whilst saying "I know I'm doing nothing - but look how guilty and sorry I am that I'm doing nothing! That makes me it all forgiveable right?" Wrong, Hold, it's a kind of cheating. I can say this to you Hold because I used to have exactly the same way of thinking. I learned, that in fact it's a very common defense mechanism (one of the sneakier ones!) and provides a perfect excuse for not changing. And it really isn't an honorable approach (no matter how hard you are on yourself - LOL).I don't know if I'm resonating with you at all. All I do know is that if you don't change your approach then your situation has zero chance of changing. and that's fine s'long as you realize this.