I have been reading HNHN and i totally understand how males feel that sex is so important and i have always tried to accomodate this with my husband.
I know there is no magic number but when is sex more of an addiction then an initmate way of showing how u feel?
For 6 years me and my husband have had sex close to every night i am really being honest and if i wasnt in the mood he would say help me have a wank or a head job would be nice. It wouldnt matter if i was dog tired or feeling unwell or pregnant (three kids and three years leaves one very exhausted mum)!
I do accept that to a certain degree i did just give him my body and didnt really engage in it with him, but when it was the same way every night- which was have shower i wash him(he didnt do it back) when i got out he would be laying on the bed watchin porno i would stimulate him then he would jump on (i am sorry for being real blunt) also i guess i started to turn off when he would talk about having sex with other people and how much he wanted to have a three some with me.
If i said no not in mood i would just be annoyed till i agreed and as i have said in another post my husband is a very emotionally controlling and i didnt feel i could say no.
After going through the book there still isnt alot of get me in the mood affection from him, we arent having sex as often and i did agree that if he still feels un satisfied then he could look at pornos on internet (i was just happy to be left alone).
It doesnt make me feel good that he does look at porn i feel i fail to satisfy him he says he likes just getting affection but rarely is it ever just affection or returned.
He said to me last night i am gonna stay up watch some porn and try and have a wank i feel horny so i went to bed. He comes in about 10mins later says internets to slow is it okay i watch some porn DVDS. I did my very best to not take this as a personally snipe at me and be manipulated into helping him.
Is there place for pornos in a marriage? Should i accomadate him with a "wank" or oral sex because i am not in mood or if its not an appropriate time of the month?? I dont see why i should when it feels like i am just there to entertain his needs.
How can i address these things with him especially when i am scared of him??
I know alot of ppl who read this would probably be shaking their heads wondering why i have put up with this but in my defence i am quite alot younger then my husband and was and have been very naive and thought things were normal cos that is what he kept telling me and i didnt know any different.

Me 25years
H 45years
6years togther
3year married
3 boys 5, 4 and 3
Standing at the door of divorce but not sure if i am ready to knock