Soolee, it has always been understood that the "abuse" referred to here means DOMESTIC ASSAULT.

It has always been understood in this way by whom, Melody? Who are you speaking for?

Personally I'm in agreement that Dr. H probably is referring to domestic assault because in his letters discussing controlling spouses and angry outbursts, he discusses POJA being the way to go.

However, I feel it's remiss to assume that POJA is applicable in all controlling/angry relationships because repeated long-term control and anger can seriously damage a person's mental health to the point that even though there has been no physical assault, the victim is too emotionally damaged to pursue MBing without antidepressants and/or IC.

I think that if a person even feels their physical well being is being threatened, they need to put distance between themselves and that person. I highly doubt that anyone would advocate reserving caution for after an assault.


"Stop yappin and make it happen."
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Me 47
DH 46
Together for 28 years.
Married 21 years.