It is a self empowering situation, Soolee, so yes it does seem that way. My W is kind of getting it though. She is finally figuring out that in a M there are TWO people, not employer and employee, which is how I was treated for years. Bad employee... demoted, good employee... a pat on the back. What she didn't understand is how that type of relationship was hurting our M, and me. She couldn't grasp that it wasn't working or why it wasn't working.