I don't think you nudged thoughtlessly. I think you believe your wife should not dislike nudging. So you do it, anyway.

And whispering in her ear, hand on the lower back (not pushing at all), saying "I want to dance with you right now, to this particular song" isn't all in...just as not doing it is all out.

It's one moment, one way, with respect to what you want and to what you know she dislikes...so that you do not self-sabotage your wants. Like you know nudging did.

Maybe it's an old movie scene in your head, dashingly masculine, where her going with the nudge would make a big deposit, beyond even the dancing together...don't know. Take a look. Then I dare you to tell her what her choice would mean to you had she chosen differently.

And own up that you did that which you knew she disliked and expected her to not react to her feelings, but to do in spite of them. For you.

Which is exactly what you're often unwilling to do yourself.

And these are just two moments...not a plan to improve your marriage, not a plan to improve you or break or remove your resentment...

just you choosing two times to do differently, for the fun of seeing what's next. You might get to dance. You might not. You might dance right where you were standing.

She didn't get love deposits into your bank for not erping on ya?