I disagree. Mrs. Hold provided lots of sex when she wanted something from me. Marriage. She stopped providing sex when she got what she wanted. If I had more money, I would be more likely to leave. More likely to be able to find another woman who would provide the sex Mrs. Hold is unable to provide (and yes, I realize it would be a mistake to base another committed emotional relationship on the exchange of FS for SF, but the availability would nonethless be increased even if I were wise enough to seek a different kind of relationship - and not every sexual relationship needs to be a committed emotional one). I think if I had enough money to hide most of it beyond the reach of her divorce lawyer, she would make herself available.

Well, her body. Whether she would make her soul available is another story. I am not sure she would trust any man enough to let down those walls. Certainly, in my present state I am not trustworthy in that regard. I would like to think I was back when we got married. Hard to say.

I am not more gracious than you. I am very jealous that Mud's wife responded. Happy for him. But with a tinge. Not as bad a tinge as years ago, because I am more resigned to my situation never improving. But that is a depressive response, not wisdom or healthy acceptance.


Mrs. Hold did post here briefly years ago. She did not like the reception, and left soon after.

As for your husband, every person is different. Some react to stress by wanting less sex. Some want more. Some eat more. Some eat less. Some people throw themselves into feverish activity to distract themselves from the stress. Some curl into a ball and withdraw from life.

If your H generally uses sex to cope with high stress, he might want less sex when he is relaxed. Or perhaps the ED bothers him more than you imagine. So when he is alone with you on vacation, and knows you expect (wish?) sex to happen, the anxiety makes it even more difficult for him to perform. Would he tell you if you asked?

When you can see it coming, duck!