bjs...great to have you back on MB again.

What are some of the things you can ask your H about his statement? Does it sound to you like your feelings are important to him? That he fears your disapproval, fears screwing up, doing bad or wrong? That he fears irritating others, making them annoyed, dislike him?

Not blaming either of you...just knowing more...asking and hearing more...which means resentment can't be built up, can't give him his false comfort zone (those of us living through rejection can often justify rejecting first)...

Do you see some of Hold in your H in some way? In yourself?