The GIVER and The TAKER ....both "good guys" in the marriage.

Quote:

Now for something really cool.....

Giver/Taker ... or as Harley says: "We all have split personalities"

The Giver's Rule ... do whatever you can to make others happy and avoid anything that makes others unhappy even it it makes you unhappy.

Everyone has a giver. EVERYONE. Freeloaders, Renters, Buyers .... criminals ... Grandma .... your MIL .... your cheating spouse.... your faithful spouse. Our Giver wants us to make a positive difference in the lives of others and it grows out of our instinct to provide care. "give until it hurts"

The Taker's Rule ... do whatever you can to make yourself happy and avoid anything that makes you unhappy, even if it makes others unhappy.

Everyone has a Taker. EVERYONE. Freeloaders, Renters, Buyers ... criminals ... Grandma ... your MIL ... your cheating spouse ... your faithful spouse ... Our Taker wants us to get the most out of life, and it grows out of our basic instinct for self-preservation. "get what you need in life"

Harley says:

"It is tempting to consider the Giver as our caring nature and the Taker as our thoughtless nature.

But that's NOT what they are.

Actually, they are BOTH caring.

Your Giver cares for others

and

Your Taker cares for you"

!!!!!!!!!!!! KEWL dance2

Wait .... there's MORE !!!!!!! shocked

Harley goes on to say:

" Both Giver and Taker also have their thoughtless sides.

Your Giver does NOT CARE how YOU feel.

and

Your Taker does NOT CARE how others feel. "

!!!!!! REALLY KEWL hurray and there's more !!!!

Harley says:

" In fact your Giver is willing to see YOU suffer even to the point of deep depression as long as you continue to care about others.

Your Taker is willing to see others suffer if it means you are happy or are prevented from suffering. "

So, we ALL have a Giver and a Taker

and they are both good ... because

they both care (Giver cares for others, Taker cares for you)

AND

they are both bad ... because

they are both thoughtless (Giver cares nothing about your feelings, Taker cares nothing about the feelings for others)

~~ Here's the importnt point Harley makes~~

"Because each of them ignores someone's feelings, they are both shortsighted. They fail to understand that you and others should be cared for and protected simultaneously, so that no one suffers"