Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by CWMI
SC, there is no sacrifice if it is willingly done. It only feels like a sacrifice if one approaches it like, "Yeah, okay, whatever, you win, we'll do it your way."

That is NOT poja.

I have argued this point a million times and IMHO it is a sacrifice regardless of the consequences.

I WILLINGLY and WITHOUT RESENTMENT do not go to "sit down restaurants" very often because my spouse does not like it. It does not bother me and i do it because "i do not want to be the cause of my spouses unhappiness" and no other reason.

However it is still IMHO a sacrifice on my part just because i do not resent it, it is still a sacrifice in my opinion.

It sounds like you carry some resentment over it. I would venture a guess that the resentment comes from martyrdom, how you DON'T go to 'not be the cause of your spouse's unhappiness' and your perception (real or imagined) that your spouse will not do the same for you. You've essentially thrown yourself down in a fit of "fine, we won't do this because it is what YOU choose alone, and I'll be the bigger person here, the peace keeper! Look at how SACRIFICIAL I am!"

Do you know why your H doesn't like sit-down restaurants? Have you discussed ways to address his concerns?

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)