Originally Posted By: CWMI

It sounds like you carry some resentment over it. I would venture a guess that the resentment comes from martyrdom, how you DON'T go to 'not be the cause of your spouse's unhappiness' and your perception (real or imagined) that your spouse will not do the same for you. You've essentially thrown yourself down in a fit of "fine, we won't do this because it is what YOU choose alone, and I'll be the bigger person here, the peace keeper! Look at how SACRIFICIAL I am!"

Do you know why your H doesn't like sit-down restaurants? Have you discussed ways to address his concerns?


I do not carry resentment over. I truly do not care and i do not even like the fact that you are trying to say i do, why is it any different than what Mel or Mrs W said and you did not say they resent it.

He does not like them for several reasons, he does not like a crowd, he is a home body and would prefer to be at home or outdoors doing something, he does not like to wait, he does not like how rude the staff can be.

So when we do go we go during a time that is not crowded and where we can have an outdoor patio which helps. But i know that he probably would prefer to not go at all but he does it occasionally for me anyway because he knows it is something that i like to do.

Just as i do things with him occasionally that i might not necessarily like to do but i do not detest them so i go so he can enjoy them once in a while too because we TRULY do not do anything without the other one.

And IMHO that is sacrifice or compromise but either way you are giving up something you like for the betterment of your marriage.

And i am not saying it is bad i just think it is immpossible to "not be the cause of your spouses unhappiness" without some sacrifice.