Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
Originally Posted By: Still_Crazy


Which IMHO is sacrifice.......


But wouldn't it be a sacrifice if I continued smoking, because I was sacrificing my health? That is what the real sacrifice was. When I gave up cigarettes, I GAINED good health. When I smoked I SACRIFICED my health.

It is the same with lovebusting behavior. When you practice lovebusters, you are SACRIFICING the compatibility and happiness in your marriage.

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And in my case it is not a place that we both love to eat, my h does not like to go out to sit down restaurants period, yet he occasionally will "sacrifice" and go with me because he knows it is something that "I" like even though i do not ask him to "sacrifice",


Which is exactly how incompatibility is built. Making your husband do something you like, at HIS EXPENSE is how unhappiness and incompatibility is bred into marriages. I can get my husband to go eat Mexican any day of the week, but the result is that he is UNHAPPY at my expense. And that is what the POJA seeks to prevent. It is bad for marriages, StillCrazy.

Has this practice resulted in a happy marriage for you? How would you define the state of your marriage?


I disagree Mel......

This has nothing to do with the state of my marriage or anyone else's for that matter, i just do not believe it is possible to "not be the cause of your spouses unhappiness" without sacrifice is all that is totally it.......

I do not ask my h to go out to "sit down restaurants" with me as i know he does not like them. He will ocassionally say "hey do you want to go out to eat at so and so" and i gladly accept and we have a great time. I am sure that it is a sacrifice to him because i know that he does not like to go to "sit down restaurants'.

Just like i really do not like basketball, but i would go to a basketball game with him if that is something he wanted to do just so i could be with him and i would not resent it in any way shape or form and i might even enjoy myself once i am there, but i would never have gone if i did not "sacrifice" to begin with....

IMHO that should be part of a marriage........