It's the mindset, SC. It's the belief that to be compatible means that your spouse likes what you like, instead of believing the real definition of compatibility which is that you like the same things, or at least enough of the same things to have an enjoyable life together.

So long as one (or both) spouse focuses on the things they can't do, there will be incompatibility.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)