Originally Posted by holdingontoit
I would say that the biggest obstacle to my applying the MB principles is that I do not believe I can meet my wife's needs. When I think about embracing Radical Honesty and POJA, I believe we would fail. Because we would never be able to brainstorms solutions where we are both mutually enthusiastic. Because I fear I won't be able to satisfy her minimum requirements. So I am not enthusiastic about even trying. If I were honest, I would tell her to leave me for someone else who will. And can.

I don't think I am alone in having this fear.

Just saw your last post. That is me. No idea what I want. No idea what I am willing to give.

Have you ever thought about just accepting failure as a possible outcome? I have found that I often fear what I choose not to accept, but once I accept it, then my fear has less hold on me. By holding on to my fear, I hold on to being paralyzed. So what if I fail? If I don't try, I am guaranteed to fail, but at least I feel like I'm in control. TRYING means letting go of control, and if I fail, at least I learn from it.