I complimented Mrs. Hold on her weight loss this monring. She frowned. So I added "but your brain and heart are still big". She said "good catch". I called her later. Told her that it was difficult for me to refrain from complimenting her on her body. I know she doesn't like compliments on her body. So I will restrain myself. But restraining myself motivates me to withdraw. It is hard to be with her and stifle myself.

She says she gets many compliments on her weight loss and she doesn't accept the compliments well from anyone. It is not just mine that make her uncomfortable. I said I understood. And don't take it personally. But it is probably harder for me to refrain than for others. Since her attractiveness fills a huge emotional need for me and fills me with joy and it is hard for me to refrain from sharing that joy with her.

I told her that I would try to find a happy medium between withdrawing and staying engaged and complimenting her sometimes but not too much. And that I needed her help in determining how much was too much.

She said I was digging myself a hole and spiraling down. I said "this is no hole, this is where I live." I hate Radical Honesty.

When you can see it coming, duck!