No no no. It is the love her body part she minds. She doesn't want to be loved for her body at all. Fat. Thin. Or anything in between. She wants to be loved for her brains and personality and heart. Not her body. Loving her for her body dredges up all sorts of sexual connotations she would prefer to ignore.

I do compliment her on her dedication to exercise. I give her kudos every time the alarm rings and she heads out the door to a workout.

The problem is when I see her naked or see her fitting in to clothes and think "wow you look great." I can't say it. I have to stifle. Or at least I can't find a happy medium where I say it sometimes so I feel I can express myself and refrain other times to avoid having it be too much for her.

I am tired of being told. Woah. Settle down. Enough already.

I know this is partly my fault. I don't do moderation well with her. If I can't say how I feel whenever I want, my instinct is to run away and withdraw and not deal with her at all. My weakness. I come across as a gangly teenager rather than as a mature man. I need to learn better self control. I wish I could find a way to not get so excited inside. I feel like a failure for being so immature. Triggers my shame. And again, make me want to run and hide.

When you can see it coming, duck!