Working out is not home improvement.

You have your body and she has her own.

Home improvement is one home, two opinions.

However...I understand you mean you experience feeling judged, found lacking, not good enough.

I see this working out together as Mrs Hold getting an opportunity to lead the way...as you did before she joined the team...in fact, your working out, what, a year and half ago, precipitated her choice, didn't it? Or am I just rewriting your history?

Because partners inspire each other...and allowing her to take the lead a little, show you her regimen, sharing the parts she loves and the parts she struggles through...may just inspire you...allowing yourself to take inspiration...

which is a great way to replace your expectation of fear. You show up for the experience, and may have resulting feelings of closeness without judgment...feeling shared with...really a team of love...you don't know.

And working out is the easiest way to hear how much you judge yourself, tear yourself down, feel not enough from your own internal dialogue...which is honest and loving for yourself to do...

Often, we only hear our super sneaky internal tear downs when our partners, innocent of our harsh mental rhetoric, have some of it come out of their mouths...so we believe they are judging us, putting us down...not us.

And in my experience, when this happens, I don't hear that they are saying about themselves (not me), and that their rhetoric is similar to my own.

A bonding experience, exposing ourselves to our spouses. You can take it slowly. Just thought you recognizing your drooping emotions, you might want to change something up.

Charge something up.

However, she may not feel safe with you at her gym, either. Didn't know...just know sharing and asking are acts of love and intimacy...

Even when you don't feel safe...you can act, anyway.

You know that.

What did you trace your down feelings to, btw?

LA