So frustrating. I know there are other things we could do together. But since Mrs. Hold is basically refuses to discuss anything, I have no idea what she likes, doesn't like, is willing to try, isn't willing to try. I get no feedback to manual or oral so I have no idea what works for her. Sometimes she lets me. Sometimes she turns down my offer. Even when she accepts I have no idea whether anything I do works for her. Which causes me to assume it does not. It doesn't take long when we are doing something else for her to push my head or hand away and give me the hand signal to "get busy". Now that we can't "get busy", it seems like there is no point to even getting started. I would like for sex to be more playful. But I don't know how to get there when my partner will not provide any feedback.

I know she enjoys the massages she gets at physical therapy much more than any massage I ever gave her. I offered to learn how to massage. Get some books or tapes and try them out on her. But she is not interested in participating.

Argh! I hate feeling so alone. I hate stumbling around in the dark with no guidance. Phuey!