Have been very depressed this week. Mrs. Hold is trying not to add to my burdens. But it is obvious she does not find me very attractive when I am this way (not that I blame her, I am not attractive in this state). So she cannot help in ways that would be meaningful to me.

I feel very alone, despite receiving numerous hugs from D13 and despite S15 asking if I am coming to his team's pot luck dinner tonight. I figure when a teenage boy asks you to join them at an event, that is as close as you can expect them to come to saying they love you. And he seemed pleased that I attended a school event with him Tuesday night as well.

Are you guys sure I can't do ECT to reboot my brain?

When you can see it coming, duck!