I know she doesn't want hugs when she is upset. I didn't expect her to accept the hug. What she wanted was to talk it through. Which I did.

I am not depressed because she refused the hug. I was already depressed. The story about the hugs was meant to illustrate that my wife doesn't want hugs for herself. Which helps explain why she is not able to offer me hugs when I need them. It is my attempt to convince myself that she is not rejecting me when she rejects my request for a hug. She is rejecting the hug.

When you can see it coming, duck!