She says it is very hard for her. And harder still when I am so withdrawn.

She doesn't find me attractive when I am depressed and needy. Understandable. That makes it even harder for her to offer a hug. I cannot imagine using POJA and brainstorming a way for her to be enthusiastic about giving me a hug when I need one. There aren't any circumstances under which she would be enthusiastic about giving me a hug because I am depressed.

She feels I am a weak person and should be able to overcome the depression on my own. She doesn't want me coming to her with my depression. And at this point, I no longer come to her in the hopes she will help me deal with it. I just notify her of the existence of the depression so she is aware of its presence.

I read what thinkin said on her thread today. That she feels it is possible for her to inspire someone else to love her without her having sex with them. That would not be possible with me. If she asked me to wait until we were married to have sex, I would decline to get married. Maybe that makes me a renter. But if Mrs. Hold says "come back to me when you have overcome the depression", I am much more likely to retreat into distraction (tv, video games, staring at the wall) than to overcome the depression in the hopes of connecting to Mrs. Hold.

When you can see it coming, duck!