Hmmm. I am not interested in getting into fights over how much it costs to do the things she wants to do. And I can't tolerate the contact if it doesn't regularly (not always but frequently) lead to sex. We stopped doing recreation from 2 main points. It never ended in SF. And the things she wants to do cost too much. I would rather stay in misery than go back to when we used to have date nights. That was worse. Spending time with her makes me want sex more. Why the heck do you think I avoid her? Doing things with her "not to get SF" doesn't help me feel better. I end up feeling worse. I may be miserable playing video games by myself. But I am not as frantically dysfunctional as when we spend time together without having sex.

I guess it can't hurt to propose things that are free or nearly free. Then again, we are in synchro meet and AAU basketball season. Our weekends are spoken for until the end of June. Am I prepared to cut back on kid commitments to make time for my marriage? No way. But if we find some Saturday nights when we get back home early enough, maybe we can find some "concerts on the green" to go to without the kids. I predict Mrs. Hold will politely decline. But I will ask.

Just noticed you said 4 per WEEK! I first read that to be month. One per week. 4 things in one week? Not possible. We don't have 4 "slots". I generally don't get home until 8 or 9 at night. Closer to 10 when D13 has synchro practice until 9:30. So weeknights are out. We are lucky to have 1 or 2 slots per weekend max. And none when one or the other kid has an out of town meet or tournament.