I understood you weren't interested due to fear. I got that. I was thinking about how you guys regularly have spiritual intimacy...and wondered how that might ripple into other intimacies. To me, it's the most intimate of all...doesn't mean it's that way for you guys.

The past is the past...there are tiny changes...what was may not happen again...you don't know. When was the last time you talked about her getting a part-time job to pay off her share of the debt?

I ask because I know her running the kids around takes a lot of time...didn't know if there were work-from-home things she could do, train for, or something local, 20-hours a week (like 8am to 12noon, M-F)?

She can find a way to bring in an income without costing more to work...she's intelligent, creative and when she sets her mind to it, she can do it. Your job is to state this and to ask...here's what I want most...

So that FS is worked on, and then my hope will be, SF will follow (my optimistic dyslexia speaking, of course).

Inches by inches, Hold. Not too much at once.

Also, I'm thinking your DS15 could be asked, also, to work at the nearest market for 10 hours a week...and I suggest this because my two oldest boys began work at 14 and 15 (got the underage work permit) and have greatly benefited from it...while my youngest, well, didn't. Your DS15's money would be his own to pay for his clothes, extras...which does reduce what you pay for him...and your DD can babysit.

If you and the two kids bring in income, then MrsHold may want to join that club...I can't tell you how different your children's work ethic evolves from this...let's them grow into their own consumer power, understand their limitations, influence. Super important, not perfect...yet without experiencing early, most likely they will struggle long and hard.

What kind of fiscal experience did MrsHold have growing up?