Telly is correct. I would be willing to try whatever she would consent to. Some positions wouldn't work because of the physics, but I am more than willing to use tongue, fingers, toys, fruits, food items or props / costumes to enhance the experience. At this point, I'm just too gunshy having been shot down so often in the past.

If she wants me to be more aggressive or take charge, I am willing to do so. But not if it risks major rejection. I am happy to "surprise" her so long as she agrees that she will consent (assuming I stay within certain pre-arranged parameteres and we have a safe word as backup). But I am not interested in starting out by discovering her boundaries by trial and error. She has to tell me "anything within this area is basically OK." So far, there isn't anything, not even intercourse in the missionary position, where she is willing to give me pre-approval.

I have gotten some of those 101 Nights of Great Sex books. She wouldn't choose any entries for the gals. She wouldn't let me choose an entry. She basically rejected any attempt to "spice things up". Heck, she wouldn't do the hugging exercises when we went to a sex therapist. She wants me to do kinky stuff? If so, she hasn't done a very good job of communicating that desire.

I get that she wants a veto. But if she wants total control, she will have to do 100% of the initiating. And if she doesn't initiate, I will continue to resent her.

When you can see it coming, duck!