Lurioosi:

I agree. She is never going to want SF as much as I used to. Maybe never as much as I do (although my drive is dropping precipitously). Normally I would not expect her to initiate. I want SF more than her, so I should be the one asking. That would be fine with me if she consented a "reasonable" portion. But when I get shot down repeatedly. And we don't have sex for months. Then it hurts to much for me to keep asking. I know it is not helpful to my marriage, but I would rather refrain from asking and resent her than ask frequently and keep getting shot down. If she expressd more willingness to consent, I would consider going back to being the one who initiates. But as I said, if she wants 100% control over when we have sex, then she nees to take 100% responsibility as well.

When you can see it coming, duck!