I wonder... do you think you joke about it because that's the "only" way you feel it is "safe" to mention sex? Like, using humor to mention something that otherwise would be left unsaid?

She seems to have made some improvements... in spite of her tonight thinking you are scum for wanting/needing sex. Do you think now would be a good time to point out to her (again) that SF is a very valid EN, especially for males? You could mention the hormones that are released that create the emotion of bonding for men, etc.

I'd be real tempted to point out to her the times that you have tried meeting her halfway, and she didn't budge, didn't honor her side.

Not to cause an argument or to dredge up the past, but to let her know *why* you feel the way you do. It seems like she *might* be starting to open up, a little, and it might help her to be reminded of all your attempts in the past. She may still have blinders on there, but maybe she's now at a point where she could start to see, if reminded.

Honestly, not as an argument. I know that I have sometimes started getting all wrapped up in myself, and drowning in self-pity, and it really does help to have someone point out another viewpoint.