Hold, I would think, instead of pointing out all the attempts in the past, it would make sense to point out that you're in a different marriage today, one where you two want to and enjoy sharing SF together in ways that are special and meaningful to both of you. I know in my self-talk, it's a lot easier/simpler to think of a clean slate starting fresh today than rethinking old scenarios when I had less tools.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010