What Telly said.

I'm not sure why you think your EN for SF isn't "pure". It doesn't *have* to be based on... um... you seeing unicorns and rainbows when you think of your W? It can *totally* be a man-thing. It can *totally* be the physical-ness.

Lessee... here's a f'rinstance (although my H *hates* my analogies; maybe this will help, maybe not):

I seem to have a need for someone to take care of paperwork for me. File taxes, pay bills, etc. I wouldn't call it an *E*N, since I don't exactly think it makes me fall in love... it is definitely a *need* though, in the sense that it is good to stay out of jail.

We could hire a personal accountant to do those things, and I could refrain from falling in love with the accountant.

So I can totally appreciate that my H takes care of that paperwork. My appreciation of him doing that isn't all unicorns-and-rainbows, it is more practical. So, in a sense, it isn't "pure" the same way you are claiming your lust for your wife's bodacious bod isn't "pure".

Still, I don't think my benefitting from my H's awesome organizational skills is my "using" him or "objectifying" him.