Alright, where to begin. I am no stranger to affairs. My husband had one five years ago during our first deployment, now five years later he thinks I am having one. We have been together for ten years, married for six. We have three kids together, all army brats. He is currently deployed for the third time and he has never had any thoughts of me doing something like this, so for him to actually accuse me of this has caught me off guard big time. It all started last Wednesday it was 11:15pm our time 6:15am his time. I was in bed, sleeping away and he had sent me several messages to my phone from yahoo. I heard my phone go off at 11:45 and it was from my husband and I always am very excited to hear from him. This message said "well i guess your busy, have a good night" I thought that it was completely odd. I sent him a message back telling him I just had gotten the message and slept through the messages before. Maybe I shouldn't have sent anything back at all and I could have avoided the situation I am in now.
I sent him several emails, after I had missed him online and he never returned them which he normally does. Yesterday he had just gotten back from taken his soldier to a board, and he was very short on yahoo and said well i have to go to chow now, never an I love you or Bye. Again very very unusual for him. I sent him out an email asking him why he was mad at me or why he is irritated with me what did I do so I can fix it. He wrote back and gave me 10 reasons on why. He said bc I sent him two messages that he thought were not meant for him. That a women who goes and make drastic changes to her body is 90% with a new man. (yes i have lost about 36lbs since he left in the fall. I have no other reason then health issues and doing it for myself) That I have been traveling and I have never done that before (i went to SC and visited a friend and we took my kids to the zoo, and this friend was a she and I spent all my time with her or in bed) That I never expressed concern on buying him a car until recently so he thinks I am feeling guilty (he re-enlisted, no bonus and i promised him a car/truck and I kept my promise) That I am inviting men over he does not know (this is just completely whack, I have to much respect for my husband and our marriage and knowing how it feels to be cheated on would never do it) That I am going to baseball games (i am going to a baseball game on Memorial Day, Its with a military group for a salute to our military families.) There maybe one or two that I have left out but these are the ones that stick out the most to me. He said he doubts that I am "messing" around but it sure gives off the impression that I am. I talked to a friend who is also deployed with him and he told me that he had said it once before an it all started with me not getting online that night. I do not know what I can do to make him realize that i am not cheating, that I am completely devoted to him and I would never do something like that. Do I understand where he is coming from? Yes I do since most of our friends have been cheated on or are doing it now. I know it makes them think wow if she is doing it then maybe my wife is doing it also. So I know the affects of what a deployment can do to a person, this is our third deployment but other then his affair five years ago we have a a really strong marriage since then. Can anybody help me and point me in the right direction to show him that I am not doing this?? Please help!