It also hurts so much that she would do all of this while I'm on the other side of the world, and emotionally abandon me. I was totally emotionally out of control from grief initially, and literally had no one to talk to. During that time she was cold, distant, and totally unemotional.

Since then, in her "clearer" moments, she's said repeatedly how much she loves me, and wants us to have a future together. I know I can forgive, but I feel like unless she can somehow shake herself out of this fantasy, she's going to wake up in a year or so and realize she divorced someone she loved, that deeply loved her in return.